Posts

The Suicide Epidemic
The Suicide Epidemic! Suicide has been an epidemic in this country for decades. And what has been done to prevent it? 
Between Kate Spade's suicide on June 5th and Anthony Bourdain's on June 8th, the CDC announced on June 7th that suicide rates were rising and suicide was a tragedy for families and communities. On August 27th, the CDC stated that suicide was a serious public health problem.
This was not news if you lost a loved on to suicide. In March 2000, I wrote an article, Let's Stop the Suicide Epidemic - that was published in the Cape Cod Times. Eighteen years later in March 2018, I wrote another article, A Silent Epidemic of Death by Suicide - that was published in the Cape Cod Times.

Between those to articles, suicide increased by 50%, from 30,00 to 45,000. And what was done to prevent it?

What have you done to prevent it, what have we done to prevent it? I realize suicide is difficult to prevent because people keep their thought and plans to …
Dreams! Oh, the dreams we share with our loved ones and dear friends. Dreams we've talked about with our loved ones and dear friends - the plans we've made about making dreams come true. And we have our secret dreams that we have yet to share but plan to do someday.

But suddenly, without warning, those dreams are destroyed. Shocking news, our loved one, dear friend, has died - committed suicide. Grief and disbelief, a life is gone, all dreams destroyed.

When a loved one or dear friend commits suicide, they don't realize the consequences of their deaths. A suicide not only steals life from the living, but it also kills their dreams. In an instant, all is lost.

What happens to those dreams we shared? They become broken dreams, then disappear, never realized.

We are alone in our thoughts and in our feelings of loss and sadness. And as time passes, what do we have, what remains?  In his poem "Broken Dreams," Yeats ends with these words, "Vague memories, nothing…
Music, Memories & Suicide
Music creates memories. Music is memories. The music we listened to in our late teens and 20's becomes the soundtrack of our lives. Then there are our special songs, those personal songs we share with a loved one or a dear friend. When we're together and that song comes on the radio, we share a smile and sing along, a loud and joyful carpool karaoke.
Anne and I had used to sing along to Judy Collins singing Suzanne, "For she's touched your perfect body with her mind." And to Albatross, "Come away alone, come away alone, with me." And the Beatles, Hey Jude, "You have found her...remember to let her into your heart." But our favorite was Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da, loud and cheerful we sang, "Obladi, oblada, life goes on brahh, lala how the life goes on." Until it doesn't, until it doesn't.
So what happens to those special songs when our loved one or dear friend commits suicide? Does it fade away, disappe…
A Brief Bio & Info
This blog, Fo The Heart Cries. is focused on suicide - the sadness of suicide and that suicide is death by suicide. As well as the daily journal I kept leading up to my suicide attempt and maintaining my journal after my survival.
I have also been posting articles I have written over the years on suicide and the loss of loved ones to suicide. Plus short essays that I have posted on Facebook.
But not all my writing over the years and decades has been so singular focused. So, for a change of pace, a brief escape, I suggest that you check out my two other blogs.
travelswithtinyteddy.blogspot.com     -   these are children stories about Tiny Teddy and his best friend, Berry Beagle - am posting new stories every week or so. Start in the Archive Section.
thomastruelson.blogspot.com    -   these are articles I have written over the years and decades that were published in various newspapers. Am posting the articles randomly, in no particular order.
The Stigma of Suicide
If you have lost a loved one or a dear friend to suicide, you have felt the sharp, scalding sting of the stigma of suicide. The stigma is not attached to the person who committed suicide but to those who loved the person who died.
You are in a supermarket, pharmacy, library, church or any place in public, suddenly you feel uncomfortable, that people are looking at you. You feel a silent stare that penetrates your soul - from the corner of your eye you see an acquaintance whose eyes are not looking at you but inspecting you. And when you turn towards that person, they look away.
We feel such eyes upon us every day when we are out in public - for months after the suicide. It's like we have a Scarlet S branded on our foreheads. We are not paranoid but fully aware of what is happening. Acquaintances, maybe even some friends, do not shun us but do what they can to avoid us - to even make eye contact.
It's not that they don't feel sorry for us, sorry for o…
Suicide Is Silent
Suicide is silent. Suicide is a secret only shared within oneself. As Albert Camus wrote, "Suicide is prepared within the silence of the heart." Suicide is death by sadness, planned in secret and is silent.
How silent is suicide? The week Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain committed suicide, 860 other people killed themselves that week. And there was silence, not a word.
But suicide is not silent to those who have lost a loved one, friend or neighbor to suicide. No death destroys the heart and soul of a family as does suicide because no death brands a family with a stigma so penetrating and painful. And it leaves loved ones with wounds that never heal and hearts that never mend - as many days and nights are spent suffering in silence.
Suicide is extremely difficult to prevent because it "is prepared within the silence of the heart." Camus also wrote, "There is only one truly philosophical problem and that is suicide."
God help us, but we m…
The Sinister Shadow Of Suicide
The sinister shadow of suicide  has been part of my life since I was 11 years old. It may not always be visible but it is always there, tagging along behind me. I have lost loved ones to suicide, childhood friends in their 20's and I survived a serious suicide attempt for which there is no medical reason why I am alive.
On  a Thursday morning I told my grandfather I would see him after school. He said, I'll see you later. I never saw him again. The last night my college girlfriend and I spent together, we finalized plans to take a summer school class on Yeats' poetry at the University of North Carolina. She whispered, Tom, I love you. The next day she killed herself.
It took their deaths as personal affronts and it took me a long time to answer this question: Why did they do this to me? And the answer is, they didn't. A suicidal mind is a closed self-centered mind that is overwhelmed by the demons of depression and despair - that create …