For The Heart Cries

  As we all share in the silent sadness and sorrow of the painful passing of a loved one to suicide, so, too, do we share in the emotional feelings of the words of Leonard Cohen, "My love goes with you as your love stays with me." Contact: fortheheartcries@gmail.com

  When suicide enters your life with the death of a loved one or friend, it never leaves you - suicide becomes part of you. As time passes it may become buried deep within your mind, but it is always ready to surface. When reading a magazine or newspaper, you suddenly come across the word "suicide," you read the story with deeper interest. If watching the news on TV and you hear the word, you become more alert and attentive. This becomes the new normal and will always remain so - for when suicide enters your life, it is forever part of you. Contact: fortheheartcries@gmail.com

  Many months have passed since your loved one's suicide, and you are still suffering as you struggle with the shock, sadness and sorrow of the tragedy. And now you are told that you must find closure, that you need closure, that closure is necessary and important. So, you begin your journey towards closure - and along the way you soon discover that it is a destination that does not exist. Contact: fortheheartcries@gmail.com

  A LOVED ONE WHO DIES BY SUICIDE IS SO TRAGICALLY HEARTBREAKING, SO SOUL SHATTERING - THAT IT IS A DEATH FROM WHICH YOU NEVER FULLY RECOVER. WHEN YOU HAVE LOST A LOVED ONE TO SUICIDE, YOU OFTEN STRUGGLE FORWARD WITH NO PLACE TO GO. WHEN YOU HAVE LOST A LOVED ONE TO SUICIDE, THE PAST IS ALWAYS IN THE PRESENT, THERE ARE SOME WOUNDS TIME CAN NEVER HEAL. WHEN YOU HAVE LOST A LOVED ONE TO SUICIDE, YOUR WOUNDS MAY FADE OVER TIME BUT THEY NEVER HEAL. WHEN YOU HAVE LOST A LOVED ONE TO SUICIDE, SOMETIMES THE PASSAGE OF TIME IS YOUR FRIEND. Contact: fortheheartcries@gmail.com

  If every death needs someone to blame, who do you blame when your loved one dies by suicide? As you struggle through the sadness and sorrow, overwhelmed with questions that have no answers - you slowly become aware of all the things you could done to have prevented the death. And that leads you to find fault within and blame yourself. But it is not your fault, you are not to blame, there is no fault, no blame. Suicide is death by sadness caused by the dark demons of depression and despair. And after these demons create endless battles within the mind, a person becomes detached from life - and suicide becomes a sanctuary from the painful and punishing suffering. As Boris Pasternak, the Russian author, wrote, "We have no conception of the inner torture that precedes suicide." We certainly do not! Contact: fortheheartcries@gmail.com

  What if? Two simple words, but if you have lost a loved one to suicide - those two words, "what if," can torture and torment you relentlessly and endlessly. What if he talked to me, what if she called me, what if I stayed home, what if I called to say hello, what if I invited her out to lunch, what if I stopped by his apartment - what if? What if...two words that leave you trapped to a past you cannot change, cannot escape. And that is the life you now have to live - and as time passes and you slowly move on, there will be moments when you reflect back in time and ask yourself, what if? - as I do. What if I had joined Anne for breakfast on that Sunday morning - would she had sat on the banks of the Hillsborough River with a gun in her hand on Monday afternoon? What if? Contact: fortheheartcries@gmail.com