For The Heart Cries

  James Dickey ends one of his great poems with these words, "Guilt is magical."  And if you have lost a loved one to suicide, you know how maliciously magical it is. For guilt bonds with our suffering sadness and creates maddening misery within us - as we struggle with the five stages of grief. And in this struggle, guilt is painful, it tortures and torments us and becomes an overwhelming burden as we think of all the things we could have done to have prevented our loved one's suicide. But all that we know now, we didn't know then - because the signs that could have prevented the suicide only became visible after the tragedy. Guilt is a false accusation we charge ourselves with - blaming ourselves for something we had no control over but wish we did. As we journey on in life, we will carry the loss of our loved one with us - and the five stages of grief will appear now and then out of nowhere and guilt will tag along not wanting to be left behind. Guilt is magical! H