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THE SILENT SECRET OF SUICIDE

  The Warning Signs: We have all read the warning signs, the indicators and clues, of a person thinking of suicide. Unfortunately, we have recognized those signs only in hindsight - after the tragic death of our loved one. And that is because suicide is planned silently and in secret. The art of deception - the person planning a suicide becomes an actor, skilled in delicate deception and adapting a brilliant disguise - that is well within oneself. A person considering suicide is quite capable and inventive in expressing a genuine interest in a future they no plans of inhabiting. And when that fateful day arrives, the suicide will usually occur during the course of the person's daily and regular routine. Suicide is difficult to prevent because the warning signs, more often than not, become visible only after the tragedy.  The silent secret of suicide, the art of delicate deception. As seen on PostSecret: People Don't Fake Depression, They Fake Being OK! Remember those words. Con

SUICIDE: YOU NEVER...

  You never anticipated suicide - but suicide came into your life as your loved one's life was lost. And during that most difficult time of sadness and sorrow, you realized that some of your friends and acquaintances were uncomfortable with suicide - and somehow pretended, acted, like it hadn't happened. They may have avoided you and you may have felt shunned by their behavior - which only deepened your heartbreak. But you are not on your own, alone in your suffering - for you are embraced by those who deeply love you, care for you and cherish you.  They comfort you and you are blessed in your time of grief and sadness - for they hold you gently and softly wipe away your tears. Contact: fortheheartcries@gmail.com

GUILT IS MAGICAL

  James Dickey ends one of his great poems with these words, "Guilt is magical."  And if you have lost a loved one to suicide, you know how maliciously magical it is. For guilt bonds with our suffering sadness and creates maddening misery within us - as we struggle with the five stages of grief. And in this struggle, guilt is painful, it tortures and torments us and becomes an overwhelming burden as we think of all the things we could have done to have prevented our loved one's suicide. But all that we know now, we didn't know then - because the signs that could have prevented the suicide only became visible after the tragedy. Guilt is a false accusation we charge ourselves with - blaming ourselves for something we had no control over but wish we did. As we journey on in life, we will carry the loss of our loved one with us - and the five stages of grief will appear now and then out of nowhere and guilt will tag along not wanting to be left behind. Guilt is magical! H

NEVER CROSSED MY MIND

  There is a special bond between daughters and fathers, sons and mothers. I was just a kid when my grandfather, my mother's father died by suicide. His death devastated my mother and she became lost in a world of sadness, sorrow and suffering - week after week her eyes red with tears. Our home a tomb of solemn silence. Gradually, life returned to normal. Decades later I became a hostage, held captive by the dark demons of depression and despair - which led to a serious suicide attempt. I ended up in the ICU, on life support and wasn't expected to live. Somehow I survived and was transferred to the hospital's locked psych ward. Four days later I saw my parents for the first time since my attempt - a meeting with my psychologist. Once we were seated, my psychologist looked at my mother and asked, "Mary, what were you feeling, what went through your mind, when you heard that your son was expected to die from suicide after having lost your father to suicide?" My hear

OH, FOR JUST ONE MORE DAY

  "If I could turn back time..." Oh, to turn back time for just one more day - one more day with our loved one. We have often dreamed of that moment, creating an image in our minds that is crystal clear. The two people I have loved the most in my life died by suicide - my grandfather when I was 11 years old, my girlfriend, Anne, when I was 23 years old.  One more day - my grandfather and I are walking up Commonwealth Ave on our way to Fenway Park to watch the Red Sox play the Yankees. It's a great game as the Sox win. After the game we go to the Black Rose and drink pints of Guinness. Just he and I, grandfather and grandson, ever so proud of each other and so happy being together - drinking a few beers on a late afternoon in summer. One of the special pleasures Anne and I enjoyed was going out to breakfast after spending the night together. So, my one more day with Anne would begin with breakfast at the South Street Diner in Boston. Our eyes filled with love as we simply

WHEN YOU KILL YOURSELF

When you kill yourself, this is what happens - you end your life and as you do you steal life from those that love you, destroy their dreams and devastate their lives of all hope. Their shattered souls and broken hearts will never heal, never mend. Your suicide will condemn them to a life sentence of endless nightmares. Their nights will be spent in a flood of tears, not until they fall asleep but until the sun rises - and a new day of sorrowful struggles and suffering begins, day after unending day. Your death will cause so much destructive damage to your family that it will be beyond repair. All will be ruin. They will remember the day you died every day in mournful misery, in sadness and sorrow, in hopelessness and helplessness - forever doomed to a life of agony and anguish. Their minds will ache in brutal pain as they abandon all hope of a peaceful life. Their lives will be spent wandering wearily, not knowing where they are or where they are going - because their life ended with

HOPE & HEALING

  "All in me wants to quit, no strength to go on...." We have all heard the expressions, hope springs eternal and time heals all wounds. But with the sudden sudden loss of a loved one to suicide, our lives are devastated - hope vanishes, hearts shattered. We become lost in the darkness within ourselves, suffering in silent sadness - our grief agonizingly painful. There are days when we struggle with the burden of moving on with our lives - days of hopelessness and helplessness, depression and despair. Every day we force ourselves to get through the  day and the loneliness of the night as we wonder - how do you move from misery to hope and healing? The answer is, slowly. Hope dies hard and healing does come in time. And it begins with a prayer, a plea, we say to ourselves - either out of frustration, desperation or aggravation - "God, I hope tomorrow is better than today." Those simple words are the spark and with each tomorrow, hope shines a little brighter. And hop