For The Heart Cries

  There are many reasons why our loved ones died by suicide - we may never fully understand the reasons, nor fully accept the reasons why. But what is most important to understand and accept is that our loved ones were overwhelmed with suffocating sadness. For more than any reason, suicide is death by sadness. Contact: fortheheartcries@gmail.com

  How often have you thought - what might have been, if your loved one had not died by suicide? What might have been if my grandfather and girlfriend had not died by suicide? My grandfather and I would have spent more Saturday and Sunday afternoons at Fenway Park - the most magical place in the world, Oh, the joy we had there when I was a kid cheering on the Red Sox. Anne and I are following our dream - we are in the mystical and mythical land of Ireland. And as we traveled around the countryside, Anne would sometimes sing, "I am of Ireland, come dance with me in Ireland." And in the pubs at night when the Irish reels and jigs were played, we would dance, we would dance. What might have been! What might have been if your loved one had not died by suicide? Contact: fortheheartcries@gmail.com

  The news of a loved one's suicide is sudden and shocking. And in an instant you are trapped in suffocating sadness and sorrow, lost in helplessness and hopelessness. Then the emotional battle: agony and anger, disbelief and denial, depression and despair, guilt and grief. When the battle ends, grief remains - grief that is so punishing and painful, you feel more dead than alive. You will learn to live with the grief. And as time passes, it will fade. But there will be days when it will ambush you - and the grief will be painful. It something we all share and must bear. Contact: fortheheartcries@gmail.com

When you lose a loved one to suicide, there are many questions but few answers. When you lose a loved one to suicide, the past is always in the present. We are told that time heals all wounds. But if you have lost a loved one to suicide, your wounds may fade but they never heal. Suicide ends a life and as it does, it steals life from the living. When you have lost a loved one to suicide, you often struggle forward with no place to go. A loved one who dies by suicide is so tragically heartbreaking, so soul shattering - that it is a death from which you never fully recover. When you have lost a loved one to suicide, sometimes the passage of time is your friend. Contact: fortheheartcries@gmail.com

  There are many reasons why our loved ones died by suicide, but mostly because of the pain they suffered. As William Styron wrote in Darkness Visible, "The pain of severe depression is quite unimaginable to those who have not suffered it, and it kills in many instances because its anguish can no longer be borne." Contact: fortheheartcries@gmail.com

  As we all share in the silent sadness and sorrow of the painful passing of a loved one to suicide, so, too, do we share in the emotional feelings of the words of Leonard Cohen, "My love goes with you as your love stays with me." Contact: fortheheartcries@gmail.com

  When suicide enters your life with the death of a loved one or friend, it never leaves you - suicide becomes part of you. As time passes it may become buried deep within your mind, but it is always ready to surface. When reading a magazine or newspaper, you suddenly come across the word "suicide," you read the story with deeper interest. If watching the news on TV and you hear the word, you become more alert and attentive. This becomes the new normal and will always remain so - for when suicide enters your life, it is forever part of you. Contact: fortheheartcries@gmail.com

  Many months have passed since your loved one's suicide, and you are still suffering as you struggle with the shock, sadness and sorrow of the tragedy. And now you are told that you must find closure, that you need closure, that closure is necessary and important. So, you begin your journey towards closure - and along the way you soon discover that it is a destination that does not exist. Contact: fortheheartcries@gmail.com

  A LOVED ONE WHO DIES BY SUICIDE IS SO TRAGICALLY HEARTBREAKING, SO SOUL SHATTERING - THAT IT IS A DEATH FROM WHICH YOU NEVER FULLY RECOVER. WHEN YOU HAVE LOST A LOVED ONE TO SUICIDE, YOU OFTEN STRUGGLE FORWARD WITH NO PLACE TO GO. WHEN YOU HAVE LOST A LOVED ONE TO SUICIDE, THE PAST IS ALWAYS IN THE PRESENT, THERE ARE SOME WOUNDS TIME CAN NEVER HEAL. WHEN YOU HAVE LOST A LOVED ONE TO SUICIDE, YOUR WOUNDS MAY FADE OVER TIME BUT THEY NEVER HEAL. WHEN YOU HAVE LOST A LOVED ONE TO SUICIDE, SOMETIMES THE PASSAGE OF TIME IS YOUR FRIEND. Contact: fortheheartcries@gmail.com

  If every death needs someone to blame, who do you blame when your loved one dies by suicide? As you struggle through the sadness and sorrow, overwhelmed with questions that have no answers - you slowly become aware of all the things you could done to have prevented the death. And that leads you to find fault within and blame yourself. But it is not your fault, you are not to blame, there is no fault, no blame. Suicide is death by sadness caused by the dark demons of depression and despair. And after these demons create endless battles within the mind, a person becomes detached from life - and suicide becomes a sanctuary from the painful and punishing suffering. As Boris Pasternak, the Russian author, wrote, "We have no conception of the inner torture that precedes suicide." We certainly do not! Contact: fortheheartcries@gmail.com

  What if? Two simple words, but if you have lost a loved one to suicide - those two words, "what if," can torture and torment you relentlessly and endlessly. What if he talked to me, what if she called me, what if I stayed home, what if I called to say hello, what if I invited her out to lunch, what if I stopped by his apartment - what if? What if...two words that leave you trapped to a past you cannot change, cannot escape. And that is the life you now have to live - and as time passes and you slowly move on, there will be moments when you reflect back in time and ask yourself, what if? - as I do. What if I had joined Anne for breakfast on that Sunday morning - would she had sat on the banks of the Hillsborough River with a gun in her hand on Monday afternoon? What if? Contact: fortheheartcries@gmail.com

 " I fear the weight of his mind has overcome him."  William Clark, of Lewis and Clark, on hearing that his friend and fellow explorer, Meriwether Lewis, had died by suicide. The weight of their minds have overcome them - for that is how our loved ones died. Contact: fortheheartcries@gmail.com 

  The day begins with its normal daily routine, just another ordinary day. Then in an instant, the tragic news - the sudden and shocking suicide of your loved one. A devastating death that breaks the heart, shatters the soul and leaves you suffering in painful sorrow - life forever changed, never the same again. A day and date on the calendar is now forever shrouded in black. And the pain your loved one suffered on that fateful day is now the pain you have to endure. An everlasting heartbreak - for when you have lost a loved one to suicide, years and decades may pass but the painful past is always part of the present. Contact: fortheheartcries@gmail.com

  WHAT DO YOU THINK, WHAT GOES THROUGH YOUR MIND, WHAT ARE YOUR EMOTIONAL FEELINGS, WHEN YOU READ OR HEAR THE WORD SUICIDE? Contact: fortheheartcries@gmail.com

  The lost of a loved one to suicide is sudden and shocking, a reality from which you never fully recover - as you spend years suffering in sadness and sorrow. At times you are overwhelmed with life, feeling helpless and hopeless as life's burdens become too much to bear. You need to escape, a retreat - a refuge from the reality in which you live. A place where the past does not follow you, a place where you feel safe and comfortable, a place where you'll find relief from your burdens - where you can relax, revive and rejuvenate your body, soul and spirit. A place where you can replenish your energy and restore physical and mental wellbeing. Your life is important and precious - and even though you are heartbroken, you must live your life the best you can, moving forward as you carry your loved one with you. So, find your special place where you can revitalize yourself every now and then. My special place is a small village in Ireland - my home away from home where peace always...

  Suffering the loss of a loved one to suicide is heartbreaking and painful - you feel tortured mentally, physically and emotionally. Overwhelmed in agony and anguish, you often feel alone, that life is empty, meaningless. Time passes, your wounds fade but never heal - your life begins to improve, a sense of normalcy returns, you are starting to feel better. And now? You are ready to turn your pain into passion. Because of all the suffering sadness and sorrow you have endured, you are now uniquely qualified to help those who have lost a loved one to suicide - and do what you can to prevent suicide. So, turn your pain into passion. I have done it! You can do it! Contact: fortheheartcries@gmail.com

  "I am in mourning for my life."  Anton Chekhov I mourn. Suicide has been part of my life since I was eleven years old. I have lost the two people I have loved the most in my life to suicide. I have lost childhood friends, classmates and neighbors. Suicide is a dark shadow from which I cannot escape - it may not always be visible but it is always there. As time passes. as I grow older, I have this fear - what I am most afraid of: that sometime in the future, I will wake up one morning and start a slow silent stroll towards suicide - or maybe I have been on that journey since I was eleven and don't even know it - as I am in mourning for my life. Contact: fortheheartcries@gmail.com  

  The storm! The storm usually begins with feelings of sadness, a lack of interest, being withdrawn, a sense of loneliness. In time these feelings deepen into depression and despair - overwhelming and painful mental anguish engulfed in helplessness and hopelessness. Thoughts of suicide - and as the storm rages, intensifies, suicide becomes the solution.  Family and friends are worried by the unusual and uncharacteristic behavior - what to do? But once suicide is decided, plans made, a day decided - peacefulness prevails, the storm passes, all is calm - a sense of normalcy returns, family and friends are relieved and relaxed. But it is at this time that family and friends should be more attentive, most vigilant - for it is in this calmness that death often arrives. Contact: fortheheartcries.blogspot.com

  "When you grieve, tears and guilt are mixed together."  Art Buchwald The loss of a loved one to suicide is so dreadfully devastating and so suddenly shocking, that you feel as though you are suffocating - for you are so overwhelmed with grief, so overcome with guilt. In your sorrowful suffering you become torn, at times trapped, between grief and guilt. Grief is agonizingly painful, physically and emotionally - you are worn out, exhausted, yet the grief endures - so endless that no amount of tears can wash it away. Guilt tortures and torments you, creates an anguish of mental havoc you jus can't seem to control - as you think of all the things you could have done to have prevented your loved one's suicide. But what you know now, you didn't know then. Guilt is a false accusation, blaming yourself for something you had no control over. Grief and guilt: nothing is more painful than grief. nothing is more torturous than guilt. Pray God that what overwhelms you today...

  Christmas is love. But if you have lost a loved one to suicide, this can be a season of silent sadness, of profound feelings of loneliness and loss. You may feel alone and abandoned, but your family and friends love you and they want to embrace and comfort you with their love. So, open your heart to their love - for it may be the light that helps guide out of the darkness. And where there is love, there is hope. May this love and hope be the blessings you need most of all on Christmas Day. Contact: fortheheartcries@gmail.com