March 19, 1994
Feast of Saint Joseph

"The most important thing a father can do for his children is love their mother,"
                                            Theodore M. Hesburgh - (former) President of Notre Dame

When I was in high school I was taught by the Sisters of Saint Joseph, and we would be off this day in honor of their patron and the patron of fathers and  workers. I am off this day and have been off for some time - off center and off my rocker.

From the day I was married I prayed to Saint Joseph to help me a good husband - and when that special day would come, he would help me be a good father. I failed, neither happened. It is said that God helps those who help themselves. That's mostly true but there are some people, of which I am one, who have difficulty helping themselves and need more of God's help. Maybe He did try to help me more but I just wasn't interested. For a helping hand to work it not only needs to be offered, but it also needs to be accepted. Guess I just turned my back.

My dad and brother are good fathers and loving husbands. In an interview about a month before he was killed, John Lennon was asked how he wanted to be remembered. He answered, "That he was a good father." My dad and brother are such men.

I would have loved a little girl and I know my father would have cherished a granddaughter. But it was not to be. Today I am glad I'm not a father, for I know a divorce can be hazardous to a child's well being and the divorce may have caused damage that could never be repaired. 

On the front page of today's Orlando Sentinel was this headline: "No Moment Of Truth! Divorce A Long, Slow Erosion of Feeling." And that it is.

This morning I visited a my friend from Jack Conway, Carl and his wife - whose name I have forgotten. They have a beautiful cottage on a sand dune overlooking the Atlantic. I didn't tell them I'm divorced, just didn't.

If Maggie and I had been blessed with a daughter, we were going to call her, Kerry Anne. Her initials would have been,KAT. So, that's that! Oh, what might have been.

2:00pm   Meadowland Library   -   Melbourne, Florida

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

WHEN YOU KILL YOURSELF

When you kill yourself, this is what happens - you end your life and as you do you steal life from those that love you, destroy their dreams and devastate their lives of all hope. Their shattered souls and broken hearts will never heal, never mend. Your suicide will condemn them to a life sentence of endless nightmares. Their nights will be spent in a flood of tears, not until they fall asleep but until the sun rises - and a new day of sorrowful struggles and suffering begins, day after unending day. Your death will cause so much destructive damage to your family that it will be beyond repair. All will be ruin. They will remember the day you died every day in mournful misery, in sadness and sorrow, in hopelessness and helplessness - forever doomed to a life of agony and anguish. Their minds will ache in brutal pain as they abandon all hope of a peaceful life. Their lives will be spent wandering wearily, not knowing where they are or where they are going - because their life ended with ...
Read more

SUICIDE: EXPLAINED

 " I fear the weight of his mind has overcome him."  William Clark, of Lewis and Clark, on hearing that his friend and fellow explorer, Meriwether Lewis, had died by suicide. The weight of their minds have overcome them - for that is how our loved ones died. Contact: fortheheartcries@gmail.com 
Read more

A LOVED ONE'S SUICIDE: WHAT IF?

  What if? Two simple words, but if you have lost a loved one to suicide - those two words, "what if," can torture and torment you relentlessly and endlessly. What if he talked to me, what if she called me, what if I stayed home, what if I called to say hello, what if I invited her out to lunch, what if I stopped by his apartment - what if? What if...two words that leave you trapped to a past you cannot change, cannot escape. And that is the life you now have to live - and as time passes and you slowly move on, there will be moments when you reflect back in time and ask yourself, what if? - as I do. What if I had joined Anne for breakfast on that Sunday morning - would she had sat on the banks of the Hillsborough River with a gun in her hand on Monday afternoon? What if? Contact: fortheheartcries@gmail.com
Read more