March 31, 1994
"Loves endures only when the lovers love many things together and not merely each other. Lovers who have nothing to do but love each other are really not to be envied. Love and nothing else very soon is nothing else."
Walter Lippmann - Reporter/Political Commentator
Opposite attract, make a compact, gradually lose contact and eventually nothing remains intact. That's a fact! That's Maggie and I! You can look it up! Lippmann's words describe us perfectly.
As I look back, I can say that we were never right for one another and had nothing in common except for our religion. Although we did many things together, for the most part it was either I was going along with what she wanted or she was going along with me. There weren't many things that we loved together. And over the past four years we slowly evolved to the point love and nothing else became nothing else. I never saw this as it happened, as it unfolded, but I believe Maggie did and that's why she initiated the divorce. She saw that there was nothing holding the love together. I see it but don't want to believe it even as I write the words. Only God knows what damage my erratic mental behavior has done. But hindsight is always 20/20 when you're enclosed by ambiguity.
When I was living in South Weymouth with my cat, another Yoyo, I had a roommate named George. He was a great guy, quite a few years older than me and a lot more wiser. He had a few rules about dating. The first, never date a woman with a dog because she'll always love the dog more than you. The other, which he always said was one of the most important lessons of life, is this - dog people should date dog people, cat people should date cat people - and never the twain should meet.
Suffice to say Maggie's a dog person and I'm a cat person. Although she didn't have a dog when we met, she always had one growing up and through college. Plus she hated cats and was petrified of them. Although she did grow accustomed to my Yoyos and in time we got Andy - thus a cat person and a dog person entwined with a future together doomed. Thankfully, George was not around to say, I told you so.
Tomorrow, Maggie is going to Connecticut to spend Easter with her co-conspirators and she's putting Andy in a kennel - Yoyo's staying home alone. She knows I have no place to stay and she knows how much I love our pets, yet she couldn't ask me to spend a few days at the house and take care of them. She doesn't care if I sleep in the back seat of my car or on the floor of the Jack Conway office - but I bet she would care if I started sleeping in Holy Redeemer's gazebo. She doesn't want me in the house and she doesn't want me to see Andy and Yoyo, and she doesn't them to see me - because they have always preferred me to her. So, by denying them my presences, she hopes to gain more of their affection.
So, when love comes to nothing and nothing else remains, even cats and dogs become innocent victims.
2:45pm - Eldredge Library - Chatham, MA
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