May 2, 1994
"Lovely Lady dressed in blue, teach me how to pray. God was your little boy and you know the way,"
A Childhood Prayer
My nana Frawley taught me that prayer when I was probably three or four years old, and I would say it every night before I went to bed. When I was older, around ten, I stopped saying prayer and eventually forgot all about it. But when I woke this morning those words were singing in my mind, over and over - and I thought about my nana and grampa and how kind and loving they were.
Kindness and love are two virtues we need the most in life and are often the virtues missing from a great many lives. As human beings we all suffer and experience pain at one time or another - from disease, wars, accidents, beatings and abuses. The causes are endless but most pain and suffering are inflicted upon men and women by other men and women - usually deliberately and with forethought, with true malice and hatred. Such is the behavior of the human beast, and the beast justifies his actions by hiding and lying behind the words, "it was for my good," or, "it was best for me,"
Sometimes the most profound pain and most severe wounds are never visible, for they are hidden in the heart, mind and soul. I have come to believe that some of the worst suffering is caused by the pain of abandonment and the injuries inflicted by intentional meanness, hatred and unkindness - for they shatter and suffocate one's spirit. When I was at the MSPCA the other day, it was the overpowering sight of abandonment that caused me to leave. Pets, that wanted nothing more than to be loved and cared for, were in cages, disowned and discarded. Man's best friend reduced to unwanted gabbage.
I was taught by the nuns that commit a mortal sin, I had to know that what I was planning to do was wrong and sinful and to do it anyway. I committed many such sins, most of which I enjoyed. And when the feelings of guilt and remorse penetrated my conscience, I would be the good penitent and confess my sins, ask God for forgiveness and mercy and say prayers of contrition. And then a short time later commit the same sins again and again - such is the cycle of my sinfulness. To quote Saint Paul, "The good that I would, I do not. The evil which I would not, that I do." That's me!
But when it comes to willfully harming others, God expects a lot more of us than a pitiful prayer of repentance. In the Gospels He says that before we go to Him for forgiveness, we are to go first to the person we have hurt and sinned against - and ask that person for forgiveness and express our sorrow for what we did. Most people do not follow these words of Christ, myself included.
I do not expect to hear the words, "I'm sorry," from those who have harmed me. Nor will they hear those words from me, to those I have harmed.
Lovely Lady dressed in blue, teach me how to pray, for my days are few and I've lost the way.
11:00am - Corpus Christi Church - Sandwich, MA
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