THE SHADOW OF SUICIDE



The shadow! If you have lost a loved one to suicide, the sad, sinister shadow of suicide becomes part of your life.

This shadow first darkened my life when I was 11 years old. On a Thursday morning, I told my grandfather I would see him after school. He said, "I'll see you later." I never saw him again.

The last night my college girlfriend and I spent together, we finalized plans to take a summer school class in Yeats' poetry at the University of North Carolina. She kissed me and whispered, "Tom, I love you." The next day she killed herself.

They may have passed away, but I see them in my dreams. I took their deaths as personal affronts and it took me decades to answer this question: Why did they do this to me? And the answer is, they didn't.

A suicidal mind is overwhelmed by the demons of depression and despair - that create an inner suffering that is unbearable. Thus, they are completely unaware of the consequences of how death will affect loved ones - and the pain and suffering they once endured are now sad and sorrowful burdens on those that loved them.

And the sad, sinister shadow of suicide keeps following along behind us, not always visible but always there - always there.

Contact: fortheheartcries@gmail.com

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