Conversation With Myself

 As the new year begins, my mind wanders and wonders as time passes slowly and silently one second at a time. The past, ever so distant, is now present within my thoughts and I wonder why, why suicide has been such a sorrowful part of my life?

Since I was a kid to now, I have lost many loved ones and dear and close friends to suicide. I am filled with sadness as I remember them - knowing that grief has no expiration date.

Suicide scares me for the suffering and heartbreak it has caused me - the mental anguish, the burden of struggling on with my life, feelings of depression and despair, of helplessness and hopelessness.

My mind travels back to the mid 1990's when I was lost and wandered everywhere but went nowhere. I was told to "make yourself necessary to someone."

Months later I adopted a kitten. When I left the shelter I put her in my coat pocket. And as I drove home that day, I had in my pocket a small bundle of hope. She became my hero.

And during the very difficult times of losing a loved one to suicide or having serious suicidal thoughts, we all need a hero to lean on - it can even be a kitten.


Contact: fortheheartcries@gmail.com

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