The stifling sadness and sorrow has been part of my life since I was a little kid. I have lost loved ones to suicide - childhood friends, high school and college classmates, neighbors and acquaintances.
At times it feels as though I have been cursed, trapped in some sort of sadistic spell with so many suicides in my life.
And I have also been inflicted with depression and despair, deep and dark - that resulted in a very serious suicide attempt. There is no medical reason why I survived - and I had no Plan B - surviving was not part of my plan.
But after my recovery and as some form of mental clarity return to my mind - I started writing newspaper articles on the sadness of suicide and the suicide epidemic. I wanted to do what I could to prevent suicide and help those who lost a loved one to suicide.
That is why I posted the journal I wrote daily leading up to my attempt and maintained afterwards, on this site - as well as the articles and brief essays. …