Showing posts from September, 2019
Suicide: An Everlasting Heartbreak
From the day I was born until I was almost 12 years old, I saw George Frawley almost every day - I lived just around the corner. George was a rough and tough man, confident and fearless - as Irish as a pint of Guinness. As a young man, he was an excellent boxer, well known in the Boston area.
He was a bookie. He was married and had two married daughters. By the time I was 5 years old, I was is partner and sidekick. We went to ballgames, horse races and boxing matches - and spent time in many Boston barrooms. He attended all of my little baseball and basketball games.
Every Friday night I stayed overnight at his house. We got pizza and watched TV and the Friday Night Fights. On Saturday mornings, we went out to breakfast. Almost every day, he challenged me to spell a new word. I was a magical and memorable time.
Decades ago, on an early September morning, I told him that I would see him after school - and he said that he would see me later. 
When I g…
How Do You Feel, When....
A few weeks have passed, maybe a month, since a loved one died of suicide. And you are going about your daily routine  -  and you meet a few acquaintances here and there. They express their sincere condolences. 
Then ask, "How did he kill himself?"  "Did she leave a note?"  "What did it say?"
How do you feel, when these questions are asked? How do you do you feel?

My response to these type of questions is:  Why do you need to know?

Sleepwalking Through A Nightmare
When you have lost a loved one to suicide, you spend weeks, months, even years - sleepwalking through a nightmare. Wherever you are, whatever you are doing, your mind is elsewhere - back to the day you received the tragic news and its mournful grief.
At other times, your mind wanders to days in the future when birthdays and holidays are not days of celebration but days to be endured - as we continue sleepwalking through a nightmare.
We encounter friends, acquaintances, as we go about our daily routines - we hear their voices but not their words. Often we do errands, going to the supermarket, pharmacy, library and post office - then have no recollection of doing so. Why? Because we are lost in thought, troubling thoughts of a past we cannot change but cannot escape, accept.
Our hearts, bodies and souls are broken, we ache with pain. We are held prisoner by our minds and thoughts as we suffer mostly in silence. In time our grief will lessen but it will …